Living With Your Parents Survival Guide
An astonishing number of young adults are living with their parents in 2022. The reasons for this can range from financial to emotional support to arrested development. Reasons aside, it’s likely not ideal for the young adult or for the parent(s). However, it can work out for the best.
In this article, we’ll be covering the pros and cons of living with your parents as a young adult. We’ll also be discussing some strategies for coping with things when it gets to be too much of a challenge. Without further ado, let’s begin!
1. Pros of living with your parents as a young adult
Let’s not be too much of a downer. While some of you may find it difficult to live with your parents, it’s not all bad. In fact, some of the perks of it are undeniable, provided you have a traditionally loving family. Right off the bat, we can think of three specific good things about setting up shop with Mom and/or Dad.
For starters, you can save money on rent and other bills. When you live on your own, you have multiple items you have to pay for. This includes, but is not limited to, rent, lighting, internet service, and other necessary costs of running a home. When you live with your parents, however, some or all of these bills may be taken care of. Obviously, this can help you pocket some extra cash each month, which is great news for young adults who are just starting out in their careers.
Secondly, you have access to homecooked meals and a clean house. Well, you do if your parents take time to cook a lot and don’t enjoy living in a pigpen. Even if they’re not the cleanest people, they’re likely cleaner than they were in their 20s, and they’re also likely to have more money to spend on keeping the place up. This can take a lot of stress off of you. And not having to set aside time to clean your place so you can focus on work or homework is a huge plus.
Lastly, you can get help and support when you need it. If you ever run into trouble, your parents are likely to be there for you. They can help you with advice, money, or a listening ear. This is a great safety net to have, especially when you’re first feeling your way in the world.
2. Cons of living with your parents as a young adult
Okay, so we’ve covered the good side of it. Hopefully, you were able to spot some other qualities on your own that we failed to touch on. If not, then maybe the pros listed are enough. But no living situation is perfect. And when it comes to living with your parents, there are some definite drawbacks.
First off, you may feel like you’re living in your childhood home and all that entails. Being made to feel like you’re a child and like you’re not capable of making important decisions for yourself. This is a definite possibility, especially if you’re living with overbearing parents.
Secondly, your privacy may be invaded. If your parents are constantly dropping by or calling you to check-in, it can get very old, very fast. And if they start snooping through your stuff, that’s an even bigger issue. Privacy is important to young adults. So, if yours is constantly being invaded, it can be a tough pill to swallow.
Also, you may find that you have different lifestyles. If your parents are super strict and you’re a party animal, that’s going to lead to some problems down the road. It may be hard to deal with such contrasting lifestyles under one roof. And all the constant bickering about it may make you feel like you’re not really an adult.
When you live on your own, there’s no denying that you’re an adult. But when you live with your parents, it can sometimes feel like you’ve taken a step back. This is especially true if they start treating you like a child and making you live by their rules as long as you’re under their roof.
3. How to make the most of living with your parents as a young adult
Our cards are now on the table. We know what to expect from living with parents as young adults from both positive and negative perspectives. Maybe you’ve decided that your relationship has always been strong, so why not! Others may feel like it’s a step not worth taking. Still, others may not have a choice. They may have to live with their parents whether they want to or not. This section is for you.
First off, communicate with your parents about your expectations. Do this before ever moving back in with them. If you can set the ground rules and expectations early on, it will make things much easier down the road. This is especially important if you have strict parents. You need to let them know that you’re an adult now and capable of making your own decisions. If they try to micromanage you, it will only lead to conflict.
Secondly, establish boundaries between your parents and you. Discuss the situations that will be “a bridge too far” for you both. Honor each other’s wishes when possible, and try to be understanding when there’s a disconnect. This is a process, so it’s important to take things slowly at first.
And lastly, try to keep an open mind. Just because you didn’t like living with your parents when you were younger doesn’t mean that it won’t work out now. People change and grow as they get older. So, go into this phase of the relationship understanding that this is new territory. Be appreciative of your parent’s support. But let them know that their “support” entails allowing you to make your own decisions without the threat of reprimand.
4. How to cope with the challenges of living with your parents as a young adult
Sometimes, it’s just going to be too challenging. Even the best parent-child relationships can become strained. It’s never a good idea to give up at the first sign of trouble. Instead, use some simple coping mechanisms to get through those challenges.
Start by finding time for yourself. However you choose to spend it, make sure that you end that time feeling fulfilled. It could mean going for a run, reading a book, or taking a relaxing bath. Whatever it is that you need to do to feel better, make sure that you give yourself that time every day.
It’s also important to communicate with your parents about how you’re feeling. Let them know when they’ve crossed a line and why it bothered you. That said, try to take a moment before you approach those conversations. Taking them on in the heat of the moment when emotions are at their high is usually counterproductive.
Lastly, never lose sight of the positive aspects. Sometimes that’ll be easy. Others, you’ll only find solace in the growing bank account as you’re able to put back money towards your own place. There is always a positive if you look hard enough.
5. What to do if you’re struggling to live with your parents as a young adult
If you’ve tried everything we listed above, and you just can’t seem to deal with the stress and frustration on your own, don’t give up just yet. There are a couple of great options where you can get a little extra help and some deeper strategies for how to make this thing work.
Talk to a therapist. Therapists won’t tell you how to solve your problem or ease the tension between you and your parents. But they will help you understand your feelings and give you some strategies for how to better cope with them.
You can also join a support group. There are groups out there specifically for young adults living at home with their parents. This can provide some much-needed relief from the isolation that you may be feeling. It’s also a great way to share tips and tricks with others who are in the same situation as you.
Where can you find these support groups? Start by searching online or checking with your local library or community center. And if none of this works? Move out! You hope it won’t have to come to that, at least not on bad terms, but moving out can actually improve the relationship.
It does this by giving you some much-needed space and time to focus on yourself. It also sends a clear message that you’re an independent adult who can make your own decisions. If your relationship is strained, this may be the best option for both of you.
Living With Your Parents Isn’t the End of the World
Living with your parents as a young adult can be difficult, but it’s not the end of the world. You can cope with the challenges by finding time for yourself, communicating with your parents, and remembering the positives.
If you’re struggling to make things work, there are resources available to help you, such as therapy or support groups. And if all else fails, it can be just the catalyst you need to build the life of your dreams. Good luck!
[Featured Image from Seinfeld]